This past spring, I graduated from college and immediately moved on to doing a whole lot of nothing. The job market sucks right now (as many of you well know), and my English degree didn't prove to be as immediately useful as I'd spent the past four years promising my mother it would. So, as a last ditch effort to avoid selling my body to pay off a hefty helping of student loans (money well borrowed... pffft), I moved back to my home town.
Coming back to this lil' old town, I was immediately faced with a grim reality that I'd known long ago, but forgotten thanks to four years of collegiate recreation: I don't exactly belong here.
The majority of this town's population is either over 55, or knee-deep in mud and Toby Keith albums, proudly sporting Florida Gator gear from head to tailgate (I am the living, breathing example of a gator-hater; you'll soon find more of that).
True, there are still plenty of kids around here I went to school with, but they're the poor souls who never left, and have never experienced life on the outside. They believe the earth is flat, and drops off into oblivion at the edge of the National Forest. Many of them are huge, married, or pregnant (even the guys - it's weird), and completely static. We don't have much in common.
For this reason, I'm forced to closely monitor my contact with the town's citizens, lest I get sucked into their cult of crazy and wind up pregnant; I treat my harem of sisters like my own mini-sorority, and bring my mom out to bars and introduce her to strangers as my roommate. She enjoys this slightly more than I do, but it makes for a good time.
Similarly, my love life is non-existent; I'm not interested in rednecks or jailbirds.
The activities I've undertaken to quell my extreme boredom outside of work include, but are not limited to, the following: I'm coaching high school girls' sports, becoming a master hula-hooper, reading until I'm nearly blind and watching way too much television (to further exacerbate the blindness). I get out of town every chance I get, spinning myself out at music fests so I can temporarily discard my reality until I'm ready to deal with it.
So, despite the unstable conditions of my current situation, I'm just going to start blogging the hell out of it. Because I can make a party out of anything - I want you all to see that, and follow suit.
If anyone has any suggestions for improvement, my comment box is wide open. I'm constantly on the lookout for new things to get involved in, and I'd love to disprove my notion that I'm alone here, and that nothing exciting goes on. I'm convinced that there's a little culture somewhere around here, I'm just at a loss of where to find it. Help me out, yeah?
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